well, it seems like a lot has changed since the last post. i had my fourth chemo treatment and spent a night in the hospital. this type of chemo was the same as my first treatment. it is really strong and makes me sick. it seems like i am on edge all of the time and i just throw up randomly. i hate it. while i was in the hospital i had a small fever one night. my doctor immediately jumped to conclusions that i could have an infection and has put me on an antibiotic that have to be given through an IV. we had home health come out and show us how to do it. since i have a port-a-cath it is fairly easy to do twice a day for 2 hours at a time for 10 days. we just hook it up and let it run. i really don't think i have any infection. i think she jumped to conclusions and now i have to deal with this IV for 10 days on top of everything else. i just can't seem to get a break.
my appetite has been zapped again. nothing sounds good to eat and i don't feel hungry. i hope this doesn't last too long.

well, it has been a few days since my last post. i am getting lazy and slacking off. today i was scheduled to get my 4th round of chemo. the doctor took one look at the sores in my mouth and said no chemo for you today. i don't know whether to be glad or upset. i was ready to get it overwith but i was also dreading it. i called the doctor back to find out when i need to come back for chemo and they said thursday morning. i also have to continue to take some pills every six hours to rid my body of the chemo.

today has been as unproductive as usual. i have had a decent appetite, but eating is like torture. huge pieces of skin are peeling out of the inside of my mouth. i ate pizza yesterday and had to fight to hold back tears it hurt so bad.

on a more positive note, i have a lot of my xmas shopping done. thanks to the internet. i didn't set foot in a single store with the purpose of buying a gift. my sister tracy stopped by and helped me wrap megan's gifts. she is going to pick up a few stocking stuffers for me tomorrow. i may try to go into work tomorrow for a few hours. i will have to check and see how many people are sick and check my energy level.