well, i have been in the hospital since thursday. still here on sunday and i bet i'll be here a couple more days. i got so weak and my blood counts got really low. i have had two blood transfusions to bring my red blood cell count up. my white cells that fight infection are still really low. they are 0.4 and need to be at least 1.0 before i can go home. only time will help them to regenerate. being here is like being in jail. the walls feel like they are closing in on me. i know i need to be here until i get better but it still upsets me. initially i was just to have a blood transfusion on an outpatient basis and go home. i was running a fever and they ended up keeping me.

my next chemo treatment will have to be pushed back until i re-gain my strength and white blood counts stabilize. these beautiful days are killing me. i just sit and look out the window at the sunshine, trees, and people going by on their merry ways.

well i think i am going to take a nap. all of the meds that i am taking make me tired. i am on 3 different kinds of antibiotics to prevent any infections that may arise and several anti-nausea medicines to keep me from getting sick. they haven't been working that well on me for some reason. the last coulpe of days i have thrown up just about everything that i have eaten. my stomach has just gotten into a routine of rejecting food, which makes me even weaker. i think it is getting a little better. i am just eating small meals.