yesterday was my first day out of the house since leaving the hospital. it was great to just get some fresh air. riding in the car was not very comfortable. i could feel the bumpy roads all the way up my leg. we went to get some ice cream and see a movie. i decided to put away the walker and get out the crutches. they are much better for navigating in public and easier to get in and out of the car. getting in and out of the movie theater seemed to take quite a bit of effort. the theater seating was also not very comfortable. i had to sit on the end of the aisle so i could stretch my leg out straight. that is nothing new. i had to do that for months before the surgery because the tumor would not let my leg bend enough to sit in a middle seat. by the end of the movie i was ready to come home. my leg was aching pretty bad from the uncomfortable position. we got home and i headed straight for the recliner and bottle of pills. i slept great last night. didn't get out of bed until after 1 pm today.

tomorrow night we are going back to nashville for my 2 week check-up. i can't wait to get these staples out. i have been wanting to take them out myself for about a week now. i think my leg looks pretty good. not much swelling and i can bend it fairly well (even though i am not supposed to right now). i still can't put much weight on it, but that will come with time. i guess we will find out how much more chemo i will have to endure. i feel like things are starting to get better. i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. i am just hoping for good news from the doctor.

the pain is starting to ease up a little. my lower back still feels like crap. i have just been staying in bed and the recliner all day. if i don't keep my leg elevated, my foot starts to change colors and hurt. one of the staples started to come out the other night. i pulled it the rest of the way out. i have to say that it was quite painful. the staples are not straight. they have curved ends that hook into the skin. i wish i had one of those special staple removers that the doctors use and i would take these little buggers out. they are starting to itch and i can feel them under the skin. i don't know if i can wait until tuesdy to get them out.

i was hoping to go back to work today for at least a few hours, but i really just didn't feel good enough yet. i am bored out of my mind. i haven't left the house since i got back from the hospital. i just need a change of scenery. my brain is rotting from all of the daytime tv that i have watched. even pain pills can't make daytime tv better.

a solid week of pain with no real relief is really starting to get old. my lower back feels like it is broken. sitting in the recliner all day puts pressure on my back. i usually feel the best when i wake up in the morning after laying flat all night. taking a shower is very difficult. our shower is fairly small. we tried putting a chair in it for me to sit on, but that didn't work. i have to stand on my good foot and lean against the shower wall and make things quick. my left leg is like a limp noodle. if i put any pressure on it, it just buckles. this really make me think about the difficulties that handicapped people have. small things like getting through doorways and using the bathroom can be difficult and take a lot of energy.

we took a picture of my scar for those of you that are not faint at heart and would like to see it, click here.

well i made it through the dreaded surgery. it has been one of the longest and most painful weeks of my life. my experiences have been varied from great to excruciating. too much has happened and to post it all here would not be possible or practical. i will sum things up in as few words as possible.

according to the doctors the surgery was a success. they removed the bone tumor and replaced it with the metal implants. i have a single incision about 15 inches long along the outside of my leg. it looks very clean and is held together with staples. i have some minor swelling in my knee and ankle. at this moment the pain is moderate. compared to the delirious pain i experienced the first 2 days after the surgery the pain is not much more than a headache. it is a long story but basically my IV penetrated the vein and i was not getting the morphine. it was leaking into my arm making it swell and my hand turn black and blue. my dad happened to notice it and had to inform some of the incompetent nurses. once I got a new IV the morphine took hold and controlled the pain.

anyways, i am just glad to be back in my home and out of that hospital. they told me for 3 days in a row that i may get to go home the next day. i had to stay so long because fluid was still draining from my leg. we had to wait until it all but stopped before i could leave. i am scheduled to go back for a check-up in 2 weeks. i am not supposed to bend my knee until then. it will be close to 6 weeks before i can put full weight on my left leg. right now i have a walker and crutches to use to get around and a knee stabilizer i am supposed to wear whenever i move from place to place.

these next few weeks are going to be painful and difficult but i have a positive outlook and tons of support. i will find out in a couple weeks about the rest of my chemo treatments. i feel confident that i will only have a few more. thanks again to everyone for the support. words can't express my gratitude.

well, i am getting ready to head off to nashville in a few hours. my nerves are totally shot. i want to get this over with, but i can't help the anxiety and thinking about the surgery. no matter how hard i try to get my mind off of things, this is going to be a huge ordeal. i know that after the surgery everything is going to be down hill. i will have a cancer free leg and a new metal knee to play with :) i am determined to get my ass out of that hospital bed asap. i need to show them that i can hadle this and be in control of my mobility. well, i gotta run and get things packed up. i will post again and let everyone know how things went as soon as i am able to think straight. thanks again to everyone that has sent emails and expressed their concern. it really makes a difference and helps boost my outlook.

The trip to Nashville for the pre-op appointment went well. My surgeon explained the surgery procedure in detail. I had to have some additional x-rays taken of my leg and chest. I had blood drawn for the standard pre-operative tests. They also asked me a million health related questions. They have officially scheduled my surgery for Friday, Feb. 13th. I am not very superstitious, but I don't like the idea of having an operation in firday the 13th. I am sure all will go well, but it is just the thought. I will most likely be in the hospital for about 4 or 5 days.

it has been a long time since my last post. i have been feeling good lately and just haven't taken the time to write anything. i have been staying away from the chemo and eating like a pig. megan and i are getting ready to go down to nashville tomorrow night for my pre-op appointment on tuesday. i am looking forward to getting this surgery over with. spending time in the hospital and the rehab is not going to be fun but it is something that i have to do to get through this.

thank all of you out there for your continued cards, emails, thoughts, prayers, etc. i still cannot believe the responses i have gotten over the past months. they remind me to keep my head up and look forward to a healthy future.