today started out pretty good. i stayed in bed until almost noon. i got some real quality sleep. when i got up i felt decent. as the day went on i started to feel worse. i got a sudden urge for a cheeseburger, so i headed over to MickeyD's for some grub. i got home and took about 3 bites of my burger. it tasted good, but i got a sudden wave of nausea. i put the food down and grabbed a trash bag. i knew that i was going to vomit sooner or later. i layed back down in bed for a while until the sickness hit. i vomited a couple times. i think it was the most painful it has ever been. my stomach felt like it was being ripped open because of the cut from surgery. i pressed a pillow tight to it as i got sick. finally about an hour ago i started to feel better. it looks like i am back to the clear liquid diet until i get myself in shape. i ate some jello and took some pills for my stomach pain. i am going to try to make it in to work tomorrow if all goes well. right now i am just going to take it easy. i am really hungry but i don't know what to eat.

i finally got to come home yesterday morning. it always seems like an eternity when i am in the hospital for more than a day. this last week has been filled with nothing but pain. pain seems to be a way of life these days. i have a 2 inch scar above my belly button from the surgery. whenever i use my stomach muscles to sit up, laugh, or cough i get an extra jolt of discomfort. this reminds me when i was in the 5th grade and had my apendics removed. it was very similar. i had a little pillow to press against my stomach when i laughed or coughed. it actually seemed to help.

right now i am scheduled to start chemo this coming wed. but i don't think i will be ready. i want my stomach to heal completely before starting chemo again. i think i would pass out from the pain if i had to puke right now. i am allowed to eat solid foods, but it doesn't take much to fill me up. i think my stomach shrinked after a week of no solid foods.

well, i am going to watch some NCAA tournament games. the cats play tonight and should have an easy win. times like these the couch and tv are my best friends.