chemo did not start as planned. i had a follow up CT scan to the one i had before my knee surgery. it also came back abnormal. my oncologist said she could not start the chemo again until we found out what was up with these enlarged lymph nodes in my abdomen. i had an exploratory surgery yesterday to remove the enlarged lymph node for a biopsy. while the surgeon was in my abdomen he found what appeared to be lesions and partial blockage in my small intestine. he removed a 5cm section of small intestine. upon initial inspection of the tissues, no cancer was detected. an in depth pathology will be decisive. the doctors seem to think it may be something like crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis. much more treatable than cancer. whew! what a huge relief. i was so worried that i may have lymphoma.

if you know me, then you know that i have had significant stomach problems on and off for about 9-10 years. i visited a gastro doctor about 3 years ago and got things somewhat under control. i believe that stress and chemo have caused this flare up in my lymph nodes. it may be a blessing in disguise that this was found now. it is possible that this next round of chemo could have caused my small intestines to burst or leak out into my abdomen. that would have been big trouble. i could have died from that.

as it stands now i am in the hospital. when my bowels start working correctly i will be able to eat solid foods again and be discharged. i have quite a bit of pain in my abodomen. they are giving me morphine and percocet for pain relief. they also have me out of bed and walking the halls. as soon as i recover from this surgery and we get a pathology report i will start chemo again. for now i am just trying to take it easy and recover as quickly as possible. i see this as a minor set-back in my course of treatment. i am just thankful they found it when they did.

the dreaded day is tomorrow. right now i feel like hell. i don't want to start chemo again. i just want to run away. just thinking about it and typing this makes me feel sick in the pit of my stomach. i don't know what i can do to make it better. i don't think anything will help. i couldn't sleep last night. i tossed for a few hours on the couch and a few hours in the bed. tonight will probably be worse. it is totally a mind game. right now i am going to take my mind off of things and watch UK play for the SEC title.