monday's chemo treatment was delayed because my blood counts were too low, especially my platelets. i have a follow-up appointment in nashville on tuesday, then the chemo on thursday. my platelet count should be good enough by then. i had planned the rest of my treatments out before this delay and it looked like i would finish around july 28th. with this delay we are up into august now. i think i jinxed it by planning things out. it kinda makes me mad because i was prepared to get the treatment. that morning ritual of waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep. staring at the alarm clock and counting down the minutes i have left before i have to get up. then taking a shower and eating some mcdonald's breakfast that dad picked up. the sausage biscuit tastes good but my stomach starts to turn after that. i take my morning pills. pack up my backpack and head to the hospital for "chemo hell". as i lay in the hospital bed, they access my port-a-cath and draw some blood. i am ready for the IV to start when they come in and tell me i can't get chemo because of my blood counts. that's how it goes.

i didn't do anything but sleep yesterday. i think today will be most of the same. i just feel rundown and tired. the pollen outside is definitely in full effect. i have been sneezing like crazy and my eyes itching. i think it is best to just stay inside, eat well, and rest up, hoping my counts start to rise.