i am still in the hospital. the doctors say maybe i can go home tomorrow or wed. i will end up being in here longer with this problem than i did with my knee surgery. when i came in on thursday i only expected a 1 night stay, and it has turned into 6 or 7 nights. my white blood cell count has not come up any in the last few days. it is still at 0.4. in some ways i am getting used to hospital life. the food is probably one of the worst things. even when i choose what i want from the menus they give me it is still bland and tasteless. the dietary workers ask me if i even want it anymore when they come. sometimes, one lady just leaves my tray outside the door cause she knows i won't eat it. i have been living on graham crackers and nutter butter cookies for the last couple of days. they are the only things that really stay down. we did find out that one of the pills that i was taking was causing me to throw up. they are now giving it to me in an IV form. things are getting better. at least i feel better. the blood gives me more energy and pumps me up a bit.

my family and megan have been with me the whole time. i have not had a moment alone. i am greatful for that. without someone here to talk to and share the load i think i would go crazy. one of the nurse's aids likes to give me a hard time. she trys to make me mad so i will show her up and eat more or walk the halls or do something more productive. she gave me a coveted remote control for the tv today. ususally you have to use the button on the bed rail to change channels and turn the tv off. it is so annoying and won't let you go back throught the channels. anyways, i know i have fewer days left than i have been here. also, my chemo will be pushed back until next monday which is a good thing. there is no way my body could handle it any sooner.